Christle & Gold

The First Trimester (of Medical School)

medical schoolChristle NworaComment

I hope this title made you chuckle. Or at least smile.

We’ve been working through developmental anatomy and I can confidently tell you that there are no storks involved, just hedgehogs.

Okay, I’m officially done with bad puns.

I’ve been sitting on this blog post for quite some time. I initially wanted to write a post after the second week. I wanted to share my feelings of amazement and wonder. I wanted to stuff the post with “aha” moments and grand revelations. But that wasn’t the reality of my second week. Or my third week. Maybe part of my fourth? There wasn’t as much wonder as pure confusion. I’ve been lost in class before (cc OChem), but this was different.

I expected the material to be tougher. I expected the higher volume of coursework. I never expected to doubt my acceptance to medical school.

Hello imposter syndrome. My confidence was shaken. There was a level of shame and guilt that I hadn’t experienced. I couldn’t understand why I had received the acceptance letter to medical school because they clearly overestimated my level of preparedness. But then I called my mom. (Side note: mothers are great people and you should call your mom or call you person because why not).

And my mom reminded me who am I am.

More importantly, she reminded me who I belong to. The Maker of Heaven and Earth. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. The Creator of biochemistry and developmental anatomy. She reminded me that God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear and weakness, but a spirit of strength and resilience.

My situation didn’t change, but my attitude did. I tried to see myself as capable as the MD/PhDs, engineers or neuroscience students in my classes. I worked to change from my internal dialogue from “you’ll never understand this,” to “you’ll eventually get this.” Some days are better than others. But I’m always striving to make my next day better than my last.

So let me remind you all of a few things:

To my Law school / Med School / really any grad program friends, your hard work will be rewarded.

To my post grad friends, you’ll find your way.

To my struggling to understand physics friends, you’ll eventually understand.

To my friends, you belong.