Christle & Gold

medical school

The First Trimester (of Medical School)

medical schoolChristle NworaComment

I hope this title made you chuckle. Or at least smile.

We’ve been working through developmental anatomy and I can confidently tell you that there are no storks involved, just hedgehogs.

Okay, I’m officially done with bad puns.

I’ve been sitting on this blog post for quite some time. I initially wanted to write a post after the second week. I wanted to share my feelings of amazement and wonder. I wanted to stuff the post with “aha” moments and grand revelations. But that wasn’t the reality of my second week. Or my third week. Maybe part of my fourth? There wasn’t as much wonder as pure confusion. I’ve been lost in class before (cc OChem), but this was different.

I expected the material to be tougher. I expected the higher volume of coursework. I never expected to doubt my acceptance to medical school.

Hello imposter syndrome. My confidence was shaken. There was a level of shame and guilt that I hadn’t experienced. I couldn’t understand why I had received the acceptance letter to medical school because they clearly overestimated my level of preparedness. But then I called my mom. (Side note: mothers are great people and you should call your mom or call you person because why not).

And my mom reminded me who am I am.

More importantly, she reminded me who I belong to. The Maker of Heaven and Earth. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. The Creator of biochemistry and developmental anatomy. She reminded me that God hasn’t given me a spirit of fear and weakness, but a spirit of strength and resilience.

My situation didn’t change, but my attitude did. I tried to see myself as capable as the MD/PhDs, engineers or neuroscience students in my classes. I worked to change from my internal dialogue from “you’ll never understand this,” to “you’ll eventually get this.” Some days are better than others. But I’m always striving to make my next day better than my last.

So let me remind you all of a few things:

To my Law school / Med School / really any grad program friends, your hard work will be rewarded.

To my post grad friends, you’ll find your way.

To my struggling to understand physics friends, you’ll eventually understand.

To my friends, you belong. 

First Week of Medical School

medical schoolChristle NworaComment

I've officially completed one week of medical school! I can't bring myself to calculate how many weeks I have left, but I do know that there is a long road ahead. This past week has been stuffed with wonder, confusion, and more than enough Mediterranean food to feed a small family. And I couldn't be happier (and more stressed) than I am right now. You remember that quote that says, "walk confidently in the direction of your dreams"? Well, I'm currently taking baby steps. 

And much like a young child, I'm in awe of everything and everyone around me. I'm in a new city with more restaurants than my wallet can handle. I'm finding new study patterns and rediscovering what activities keep me sane. I'm impressed (and slightly intimidated) by new classmates and faculty who will one day become my colleagues. 

It is incredibly tempting for me to rush through this season of anxiety and "newness." (If you've spent any amount of time with me, you know that I like to maintain a sense of control). But I'm learning that we grow the most when we are uncomfortable. I want to use this season to understand what I truly desire from these next four years and then live my life with deep intention and purpose. 

Cheers to the start of my second week and the rest of medical school career!